Sucking Lesbian Cock
When I was younger I was in contact a lot of cocks, of the flesh variety. My feelings about it were inextricably tied to the desperation I felt about sex, the validation as a person I got from men wanting to have sex with the unattractive fat girl, the self-loathing that came of it all. So when I realized I was a lesbian I assumed that cocks weren’t part of the picture; certainly not in the 1970’s when even penetration was being debated in lesbian circles.
In the 80’s I came out again, this time into the kinky
community, and acknowledged once and for all that my primary sexual attraction
was to butches. I loved their masculine energy, and could finally divorce it
from the negatives associated with the emotions I felt for men: butches are not
men nor do many of them want to be. They have a unique and special energy that
gets me hot.
But still, I found myself avoiding lesbian cocks. Not
lesbian dildoes, though. I love penetration, and have
a fine collection of dildoes. Not one looks like a
penis, though. I avoided thinking about that, and just avoided those women
whose dildoes had bulbous heads and veins running
down the sides. Using dildoes was fine, strapping
them on was fine (even for a femme like me!), but it was a lesbian penetration
thing, not a cock thing.
Then I met some amazing butch women, and heard the term “cock-identified”
for the first time. My squeamishness returned: weren’t these MTFs masquerading as the butches I loved? The answer, of course, is no. They were women who knew that hormones and surgery were a real
option, and chose to say no thank you, that they were women, and to proudly
embrace their butchness and their cocks. The cock-identified
butches that I know love their cocks. They go packing whenever they can get
away with it. They have different cocks for different effects: the small
compact package for that secure feeling in a jock strap, the more substantial cock
that starts to climb down their thighs and titillate, and the larger turgid
members designed for pushing a girl up against a wall in an alleyway and
drilling her till she screams. They are as much a part of their core sexuality as
my sadism and my femininity.
Men who hear about lesbian cock are puzzled: “But it’s not real!” they protest. How can it be pleasurable? Just ask a butch about the pounding against her cunt she gets when fucking her girl, boy, or woman. Just ask about the power high a butch top gets by shoving her monster cock down the throat of a cheeky bottom. Just ask about the intense satisfaction of a butch bottom who watches her mistress get off on riding her cock while she’s tied to the bed. It's very, very real.
So I discovered a new respect for lesbian cock. But the next step was the hardest. You see, although I primarily identify as a top in the kinky world, occasionally I bottom, and only recently have been able to ask for what I really want: lesbian cock. I want to please that butch in any way I can, and worshipping her cock is at the top of my list. I want her to know how much I want it, am awed by it, want to touch it, want to lick it, want her to use my mouth with it, want to take it down my throat. I want her to use her cock to tease me, to hurt me, to control me. It is intensely satisfying to lock eyes with her while my mouth is filled with her, and see in her eyes the understanding of the gift I’m giving her as I swallow the whole thing and beg for more.
I recently sat in a room full of dykes as a very femme girl sucked off a very hot butch. All of us watched in silence, pulses quickening, mesmerized by the skill and passion. This cock-sucking girl became a mentor and an inspiration to me, and the butch became an object of my intense deseire. I got my wish later that day, kneeling at her feet, her cock down my throat, the ultimate expression of my passion for butch.